#thank god they did this because I hate when literally anyone yells as much as they did

[todayisafridaynight]

THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO

masato hot

[atalana]

so i finally got the chance to read the book of bill! and man those journal 3 pages, i could write a million essays on those, but the principle one that i can't get out my head is the new insight on ford's whole fucked up paradigm of what love is

like, neither of the stan twins really know how to experience unconditional love, because they never really had it. their dad was constantly comparing the two of them and really just stamping down stanley's self worth at any given moment. and even for ford who was praised, he's not an idiot, he saw how stan got treated all the time, and their dad was very explicit as to why. ford's praise and attention hinged on him being the family genius who could make them all a lot of money, and he knew very well if he failed to live up to that, he would also lose his father's love

and you see this in stan in his desperate need for everyone to like him, but also how he doesn't really believe anyone ever truly could love him, so whenever he gets the chance with anyone he clings onto that relationship as tight as he can, terrified it's going to disappear at any second

ford, meanwhile. the more direct threat to him was the bullies and the people that made him feel lesser for being abnormal. and no kid likes feeling like that, we know it's a spike buried deep in his psyche, which gave him a reason for the dichotomy he ends up forming.

when he was a kid, people tended to fall into two categories - those who were really impressed with him and his potential, and those who saw him as a freak and wanted to drag him down for it. the love he got and the hate he got are directly related to both.

and as a result ford is constantly looking for people who will give him intellectual gratification (what he thinks love is), and he categorises everyone else as "unimportant obstacles in my way" (because that's how he thinks about those bullies, so their words won't hurt anymore)

stanley was the first category, until he sharply became the second

and splitting the world into those two categories makes him an absolutely horrible person! like, one hand yeah, you do have sympathy for ford bc that is straight up torture bill put him through and no one should have to experience it (and i do wanna make clear this is not a ford hate post, he does have good qualities im just interested in the bad rn)

on the other hand though, god, i'm always struck by just how hateful he is towards so many unimportant things (just one of many examples, christmas songs are fake and stupid bc rudolph didn't burn santa's workshop to the ground as revenge for ostracizing him like jesus christ dude)

or the bit where he sees one of stan's shitty product ads and considers calling him and pretending to be a cop just to scare him, because in ford's mind that's a punishment he deserves for daring to look so stupid while sharing ford's face

and it just drills in how much ford is not willing to see stan's side of this in any way, because what do you think would happen if you went through with that plan? don't you know stan's already scared enough? you saw him get kicked out, you saw the ultimatum that came with it, and hell thanks to the book of bill we know you were also scared to go home until you had something to show for it. he's trying his best, and you understood that once. but then stan throws your journal back in your face and you yell that you're giving him the chance to do the first worthwhile thing in his life.

everything he did to try and make something of himself, to try and prove himself worthy of literally any love at all, you didn't care about that. now he's in a position to help you, so of course he should just drop everything and obey your orders to the letter without question. that's the only way to redeem himself for getting in your way, why won't he take it?

by the time bill shows up ford felt fully justified in going "this isn't about me, and therefore it's stupid and unimportant and should be destroyed". and i know exactly why, it's because again you think intellectual gratification and love are the same thing and you're running low on both right now so you're trying to make up the difference by affirming how right you are in your goddamn diary, but right does not make you good or kind or wise

and that makes it kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because loving you is hard, and the one person genuinely willing to do so unconditionally you're keeping at a very aggressive arms length. but you fall for bill so easily, because he understands how important you are, which must be love, and all of these other people worried about you just aren't smart enough to get it

and not even realising bill's lies could cure him of that one. hell, 30 years spent dimension hopping didn't cure it. when ford gets back he is still just as self righteous, and still willing to categorise dipper as "will give me intellectual gratification" and the rest of them as intrinsically less valuable

which is why dipper can't take the deal ford offered him. if he had, he would have turned out exactly like ford, stuck in his own echo chamber unable to tell the difference between love and praise

mabel says at one point in the comics that the reason the two grunkles are bad at looking after kids is because they still are kids, and that's a really accurate insight. that old wound cut so deep neither of them had the chance to actually move past their childhood, and discover what it was they were missing

stan never stopped wanting his brother back, but ford didn't realise that was what he needed too, until he saw mabel and dipper working as a team against bill. he's acknowledged his mistake in trusting bill before now, but "we used to be like that" is his first time acknowledging that his whole approach to people is wrong.

you've always had one source of unconditional love. you didn't need to be better than him to be worthy of it. and now you've got an entire new family, hopefully you'll realise that can come from multiple fronts

(and it's okay stan shall have his revenge for how you treated him by commiting just. so much tax fraud in your name)

[backtotheshitshow]

GHOST CLOTHES Part4 (final part): The Roof

(Wally Clark x reader)

Part1 Part2 Part3

Warning: fluff

Masterlist

Wally was literally freaking out. He’d spent all day setting up the roof. He’d put two school desk together to face each other and layed some fabric he found over them. Wally put out candles and paper flowers to add to the atmosphere.

“You’re stressing out too much” Charly says to the boy.

“Charly! Don’t start.” Wally says, fixing the the table cloths for the millionth time.

“I’m just saying I don’t think she’s gonna care if the table cloth isn’t perfect.”

“She might. You don’t know.” Wally mumbled.

“ dude it’s 7:15. You’ve been setting up for 4 hours.” Charly mentions.

“ what did you say?” Wally panics.

“You’ve been setting up-“

“No before that.”

“It’s 7:15.” Charly gave Wally a weird look.

“Shit, I’m late.” Wally shouts, quickly making his way to the football field.

…

Y/n sat on the bleachers, clothed in a cute little dress she found in the theatre department, chin in hand. Waiting for the jock to turn up to the date he so desperately wanted. “Come on Wally.” Y/n sighed.

“Y/N!” Wally yells for the other end of the field, sprinting to meet the girl. “Y/n! I’m so sorry.!” Wally shouts as Y/n walks down to him at the bottom of the bleachers.

“Wally it’s okay.”

“No I’m late and it’s not- Woah you look beautiful.” Wally looks at her like a 12 year boy who just saw boobs for the first time.

“Well thank you, handsome. Should we begin our date.” Y/n said taking Wally’s arm.

“Ah, um, uh yes of course. This way m���lady” wally laughed, causing y/n to giggle.

Wally and Y/n took their time making there way up to the roof, taking about everything and nothing. And for the first time since his death Wally didn’t feel alone, he felt seen and heard and… loved in a way that friends can’t give. They reached the last door to the roof when Wally makes Y/n stop.

“it’s not much but I tried to make it as nice as possible with what I could find.” Wally explains. Y/n gave the boy a soft smile.

“Wally just open the door” Wally did as told and opened the door. Upon seeing the roof set up Y/n smiled, following Wally to the table and taking their seats.

“Wally this is-“

“Too much?”

“No it’s perfect, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Y/n confessed.

Wally blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah well how else was I supposed to win you over.” Wally laughs.

Win me over? Y/n thought. Does he really not know. He’s too sweet for his own good.

“Wally you don’t have to win me over, that’s not what this date should be for.”

“I’m sorry I thought-“

“Oh my god, Wally stop apologising, please. You don’t need to win me over, I already like you.” Y/n confesses.

“You do?”

“Yes Wally I do”

Wally smiled. “well good because I have something to show you.” Wally grabbed Y/n hand and pulled here over tho the edge of the roof. “Look down there” Wally points to the front quad. On it was ‘W + (your first initial)’ inside a big heart, painted in red paint.

Wally examined Y/n face for a reaction. “Ah shit, you hate this don’t you. I should have listened to Charly that it was too much.”

“Wally it’s adorable that you would do something like this for me.” Y/n says turning to face Wally.

Wally found himself admiring her features under the moon light again. He lost himself in the light that twinkled in her eyes, he placed his hands on Y/n’s waist. “You look beautiful, y/n” Wally hums.

“You don’t look to bad yourself.” Y/n smiled . Wally leaned closer, connecting their lips, smiling into the kiss.

They both melted into each other. Wally felt a warmth in his chest, and for the first time since his death he felt at home. The ghost pulled apart for air.

“Be my girlfriend.” Wally asked, practically begging.

“Only if I get wear that jersey and jacket of yours whenever I want.” Y/n says.

“Deal.” Wally agrees, pulling his girl in for another kiss.

… meanwhile…

“Charly, why are you keeping me in the auditorium?” Dawn questions.

“So I can make sure you don’t spoil the love birds romantic moment, again, sweetie.” Charley responds.

/////

A/n AHH! I loved writing this series so much, but not to worry there will be more Wally content from me.

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel||Alastor X Reader||Stress Relief

Take a deep breath, before you yell at some poor face who just happens to have the misfortune to walking in to one of your days, where everything seems to be going south.

This seemed to have taken one of the most bizarre turns you could have ever imagined, you had no idea why you had agreed to such a trivial, petty matter.

Oh! Now you remember it was Charlie, who had clasped your hand looked at you with the doe eyes which reminded you of some of the Korean shows you watched as a teen and young adult.

You would admire the eye makeup, the most because once your dad who had been a makeup artist had told his philosophy of makeup to look absolutely flawless, the eyes and lips should be standing out the most.

Totally irrelevant, you didn't understand the point of recalling this faint memory of your dad. You wished you could just go back to your suburban house, in the mountainside feel the spring flowers touch your skin again, you can't believe you once hated them.

Well, you always, miss what you once never cherished and lost.

"Coming this far, can't believe all the messed-up hotel mess is on Y/n." Angel dust once told Alastor, "The civil examinations study there and study even after your dead!"

"A what now?" Alastor questioned, "Oh! you didn't know? Not very bad now, are you?" Niffty asked, climbing on Alastor.

"What exams?" Alastor had asked once again, pushing Niffty from his shoulder,

"You always are the last person to know about anything are you? Don't you have like special powers or something which you can spy on anyone?"

Alastor looked at them like he was just about to lose his smiling grin, but of course smile is the best makeup.

"So, you know right Heaven is facing some economical crisis they spent so much time providing the 'perfect after life' guess the angels forgot money doesn't exactly grow on trees." Angel said sarcastically. But some hints of satisfaction could be made out.

"How exactly is this related to Y/n now?"

"You seriously don't know anything." Vaggie interjected, "When you had mysteriously run of in one of your 'expeditions' Adam the asshole came to the hotel, not for the execution apparently in the weekly magazine or something in heaven there was about a mysterious economist, or a business manager who was really good at managing expenses and could stabilize the afterlife."

"Well that turned out nicely did it not?"

"Ugh!" Vaggie hit her head, "No you egocentric, piece of shi--"

"Don't try that with me." Alastor warned,

"Yeah yeah she's really good." Angel finished, "It was tracked to Y/n, now heaven knows that Y/n is still choosing to be in hell, Now they want her there in heaven."

"To help them manage there life."

"Y/n has to write a civil exam the hardest one, or else they would attack the hotel."

"Well they don't know who they are messing with."

You sniffled, "Can't do this anymore." You murmured, "Want to die."

"Now my dear, is that a word you should use when you are literally saving the hotel?" Alastor appeared like the shadow, like always.

"Alastor?" You slowly poked your head from the blanket, "Why dear you're a mess!" Alastor said moving next to you on the bed,

"Can I put my head on your lap?" You asked, he nodded cheerfully.

"So why did you agree to this my dear?"

"I didn't want to fail everyone the extermination is already scheduled earlier than expected I didn't want to crush Charlie's dream."

"You're working really hard, without sleeping, isn't that concerning? It's concerning me."

"Thank god your here!" You said,

Alastor put a hand on your tear-stained cheeks.

"It's time for a little rest. Dear."

"I can't the exam is in three more days I think, I don't know how time works in hell."

"If That Adam guy keeps bothering you, I'll just remind him why I am here."

You laughed, "I'm sure you will."

You kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

"Never forget to smile my dear, and now take care."

He switched of the lights, and saw you instantly hold him close before cuddling up to him, he really knew how to make you loosen up a bit.

[courtingchaos]

Tryouts

Bully Masterlist

Summary: Lucas and Max have a conversation without having one; end of summer signups begin.

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: None

A/N: I was gonna be corny here and talk about the long lead up but like, no one else has been anticipating me posting this the way I have. I’ve been on the edge of my own seat waiting and the muse finally came back from the corner store, surprisingly with the cigarettes she promised. This is a prelude of sorts, a small snippet of life outside of the main story. Expect more of these as it progresses, everyone is up to something.

No Explicit Content but 18+ No Minors

“Wait so you’re gonna actually try out for soccer?” Lucas stops walking out of shock while Max just keeps across the parking lot towards the arcade.

“It isn’t so much a ‘try out’ as it is ‘show up and be interested’.” She stops to wait for a car and shoots her boyfriend a look over her shoulder. “So don’t get too excited, they’ll take literally anyone.”

“Hey! I’ll be excited anyways!” He catches up to her at the door, shooting his arm around her to cut her off from grabbing it for herself. Lucas sees the eye roll and chooses to ignore it. “We can be like, an athlete couple.”

“Oh my god.”

“We could trade Lettermans.”

She tries to hide it but he can see her grin that she pulls off to the side of her face. “Sick. You’re sick Sinclair.”

“Oh come on, you know you want to.”

Max stops at the token machine to dig out her wad of dollar bills. “I don’t even know if I want to play! I’m just…looking for something to get me out of the house.”

Lucas leans on the top of the machine to singsong at her. “There’s always a seat at the table.” He wiggles his eyebrows and she hates that she laughs.

“In Wheeler’s fart infested basement? I don’t think so.” She scoops the tokens out to hand them to Lucas, her own personal coin purse while she keeps her high score for the afternoon. “He doesn’t make El do it so why should I be forced to play?”

“He doesn’t force her and plus, they aren’t talking right now.”

“What?” She whips her head to look at him. “She didn’t tell me anything!”

Lucas gives her a side eye before walking away towards the Dig Dug machine and Max follows him close, hands pulling at his shoulders to get him to stop moving, and when he doesn’t, fingers dig into his side to try and tickle it out of him.

“Tell me! What happened!” If this was anyone else she might consider this bullying with the way she pulls at the hem of his shirt and shakes his whole body when all he gives her for an answer is a laugh at her pretend annoyance. It isn’t until she manages to get a leg up off the stool and onto his back that he threatens to drop her tokens.

“If I get off you, you’ll tell me?” She asks him directly in his ear so he winces away with a chuckle.

“If you get off me I won’t drop your coins.”

Lucas hands her two tokens when she puts both feet on the ground and nods his head at the arcade. A silent standoff for a moment before Max gives up with a heavy sigh, sitting down when the tune jingles behind the screen.

“Okay, this morning Mike called to hang out and I told him we were gonna be busy but he could tag along if he wanted to.”

“Why do you do that?”

Lucas ignores her. “But he said he didn’t want to be around you because you were probably gonna make fun of him all day and if he wanted that, he’d just go over to El’s.”

“So they had another fight?”

“I guess? It sounds like she was teasing him about being in the basement all summer with his Nintendo and he blew up.”

Max frowns at the screen. “Did he say that? I don’t think I’ve ever heard him own up to a damn thing.”

“Surprisingly, yeah. He said that Hopper came in and told him to get the hell out if he was gonna yell like that.”

“He got yelled at by dad? No thank you.” She shakes her head a little to stop the memory of last night from resurfacing and of course Lucas catches it. Try as she might to keep her family stuff firmly behind the front door of their home, it’s been sneaking out lately and waving at anyone who pays attention, Lucas in particular.

“You okay?”

Her eyebrows knit before she can stop it but she’s focused on the game, fingers tapping on the thick buttons. If she doesn’t respond then maybe Lucas will shrug it off and keep telling her about Mike having a tantrum. Maybe he’ll tell her about the Fighter he built for her and try for the hundredth time this summer to get her to play the dumb dice game. Or maybe he’ll double down and bring up her brother’s black eye.

“I saw Billy peeling out earlier.”

There it is, she thinks to herself and holds back the eye roll. “So did half the neighbors. He likes the attention.”

“He stopped long enough to flip me the bird.” He laughs like it’s normal.

“Yeah?” The game means nothing now. Her fingers slap at the cabinet and Lucas just keeps looking at her with pity. “Well don’t feel bad for him, he should know when to shut up.” She acknowledges it but won’t name it, especially when she was there for its christening. Voices that raised over her headphones, the splintering of a mistreated door being kicked in for the twentieth time and a loud smack of knuckles before it’d gone silent. “He pushes Neil for fun.”

Lucas stares at her like everyone else has that’s ever seen her stepdad go off on his kid.

Max feels the lump crawling fast up her throat so she swallows to keep it tucked below her ribs where it can settle until later. “Lucas…” His name comes out soft on the end of a heavy sigh. She doesn’t really have anything to say, nothing she wants to admit to him right now, at least not while the sun is shining.

To his credit he looks uncomfortable in the face of her minor slip but it’s gone as soon as she notices it. “You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

Talking without talking. It’s like their special ability, their mutant powers, not quite mind reading but close. He asks her the obvious question without using the words so she isn’t embarrassed. So others don’t overhear.

She really thinks about it. Tries to remember a time that Neil had ever directed that temper at her and comes up with a blank. It’s always anger by association, always behind Billy when the blame rolls in no matter how loud she’d get about her part in the issue. That had only happened once and her mother had swiftly pulled her out of the room and into the car and they’d gone to the mall for most of the day. Max thinks about all the times she’s come home to a new bruise on Billy or another broken dish in the trash. She thinks about how Lucas has never seen the inside of her house but she’s been all over his, every nook and even through the attic, even through Mrs. Sinclair’s garden.

“Yeah.”

The game jingles at her in a mocking defeat but the wasted tokens don’t matter. She stares at Lucas who does his best to wait for her, his hands shoved far into his shorts pockets until she makes the slightest move for him and he wraps her in a hug, tight and lighting quick. Thankfully it’s lunch time and thankfully the attendant today has wandered off and thankfully it’s just them in the arcade with all its trills and beeps. Cabinet screens flash around them and all that matters is the hug and the quietly whispered “I’m sorry” that Lucas presses into the top of her head.

Lucas agreed to meet Max at the field ten minuets after her drop off time to avoid anymore general jackassery from Billy, but when he’d folded himself out of the backseat of Steve’s car he’d had to brace himself. The Camaro sat idling on the far side of the field with its owner leaning on the hood, a brunette vying for his attention next to him, but no redhead in sight.

“You okay?” Steve asks while pointedly staring at Billy across the field.

“Yeah I’m…he won’t do anything here.”

There’s the trill of whistles and Robin is shooting out of the passenger seat, cursing and slamming her foot into a cleat. “I told you we were gonna be late!” She screeches at Steve as she barrels down the small slope with her bag swinging wildly from her shoulder. She waves both hands at the coach and yells something about traffic and that’s when Dustin gets out of the car finally, his finger pointed to the middle of the group of girls.

“There she is.”

Red hair shines bright in the early morning sun and Lucas can’t help the smile that grows wide. Beside him Dustin nudges him, says something about googly eyes and makes his horrible whip sound but Lucas tunes him out. Max is tucked into herself until Robin pushes her way over and a smile appears, a laugh too when she points up to the three of them on the hill and she grabs Max’s hand to flop it at them in a crude wave.

Dustin waves back with the folded up signup sheet and he elbows Lucas again. “See man? Nothing to worry about.”

“I know. I just—“

“Worry?”

“Shut up.” It’s good natured. Dustin laughs and asks him again if he filled out the papers, if he brought his character sheet and it isn’t until Steve whistles at them and points to the school parking lot that Dustin finally cuts it out. A van has rumbled in and before it can park, a shaggy head pops out and looks around before throwing his hands up and yelling.

“Henderson!”

Dustin takes off, calling Lucas with him over his shoulder to follow, but Lucas hangs back for a minute. He watches Max whispering with Robin, can see her easing up. The smile hasn’t left her face, just faded into the conversation as she nods her head along to something said to her. Beside him Steve sighs when the horn on the van goes off three times in quick succession and Lucas looks over to see Dustin giving him a pointed, annoyed look.

“I’d go over there before he pisses Munson off.” Steve seems to be watching Lucas struggle to leave and he taps him on the arm to assure him. “I’ll keep an eye on her, okay? I promise I won’t let anything happen.”

“Thanks man.”

[askauradonprep]

Rise of Red Liveblog Part 1

Just for the record, I'd like to point out there was a Queen of Hearts logo with the kids celebrating coming off the Isle in D3. I saw it not 10 minutes ago. So. :P

30 years is about right, yeah (it's actually 32 but eh)

What distant lands??????????

Also - Beast was elected king. I can see the Isle being part of a winning platform but that's not quite the same thing as this movie suggests.

OH YAY, Uma did sail around a little before she came back! I'm gonna have an updated crew timeline after this.

Huh, is it me or does Auradon look less bright and cheery? I don't mind that necessarily but I kinda wonder if that's meant to imply what's happened since the villains came back. I don't THINK so because that seems pretty 'off message' for this franchise but still.

I kinda like Fairy Godmother's office. It reminds me of a starry sky.

Oh my GOD Uma is literally lounging with her feet up and just has to yell 'pirates' for some of her crew to come do everything for her. LOST REVENGE CREW LET UMA DO SOME THINGS BY HERSELF CHALLENGE

I thought for a second the pirate I have deemed Juno was someone new (only saw her from the back) and the way my eye TWITCHED. I was about to cuss out my favourite character at 1 in the morning.

Fairy Godmother being a nerd who colour codes things should surprise NO ONE.

One reason I actually don't hate Beast, Belle and Fairy Godmother as much as some in this fandom is because even though they knee jerk shoot some things down, they can also take a deep breath and hear people out.

I've ranted enough about Wonderland not joining Auradon before, I don't like it, moving along.

Yeah, okay, I didn't need my heart anyway. That Carlos mention punched me in the chest. Thank you Uma. I like how that's also what convinced FG to help. She loves the VKs so much and I am not hearing alternatives.

"Nobody bears to talk about it" - WE HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT BEFORE. WITH ALLY.

Uma still not standing for a VK being left behind. <3

I love the QOH still having her off with your heads tendency. Remind me to write about the Queen's Forest sometimes.

HELP I LOVE RED SO MUCH ALREADY

The helmets remind me a little of the wheelers from Return to Oz. That's not a bad thing.

Red reminds me of a more rebellious Aladdin.

"I'm a lost cause" Ow.

Even without evil, being the next in line to royalty is rough. Poor girl. It's never just about you when you're royal.

New HC - the Queen of Hearts (and Red) were originally on the Isle and then Maddox made his time machine and meddled.

Go figure she's got sticky fingers. Definitely a VK

I love Chloe already. <333 And her parents seem great <3

Chloe's parents' embarrassing her is so funny and so cute.

THE GLASS BOOTS

Yeah, I'm standing by my head canon - these two have absolutely zero idea how Chad behaves when they aren't there watching him and would be heartbroken to be told so nobody's had the nerve to tell them they raised a douchebag yet.

Wait. Chloe's going to be queen? That can't be right. Surely as the oldest, Chad would be next in line? Chloe must be younger than him. Okay, maybe they know Chad is a douchebag after all. Or maybe they want her to be queen by marriage of somewhere, that's also very possible. Or hey, maybe their traditions have female-preference primogeniture and Charming (and his dad) just didn't have any sisters. That's possible too. That's probably it.

Damn, Queen of Hearts IS ruthless. I'm digging it.

Red, that hat trick wasn't going to work. Poor girl. She so clearly doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Okay, the Queen of Hearts clearly knows Uma and 'another villain gone soft' - sounds like rehabbing ex-villains has gone pretty well.

Awwww, it is cute how excited Chad is for his dad to see him play. And now I stand by my head canon again of nobody wanting to admit to them that he is a jerk.

HA! The Queen of Hearts driving cracked me up.

Love Ain't It is the villain parent theme song. I want to give Red a HUG.

Cinderella, Chloe, you tried, but Red and the Queen of Hearts are not having it. Red, be nice to Chloe!

I'm kinda stanning the Queen of Hearts. I also really like Cinderella's explanation of why she's like this to Chloe.

Queen of Hearts actually seems hurt when Red doesn't want to be like her. She reminds me of Maleficent a little.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Here's where the fun starts? I mean, I enjoyed it. Though it took me 4 damn days to get this thing on here. But it's a busy ass time of year. So, I am a little sorry that it took so long because someone asked if there would be another part and I think they were looking for more? Or hoping that would be the end of this lol. Idk. Anyway, here's part V. Hope you all enjoy it.

C/W ::: Kats & F!reader. Language, angst, smart-assery, flirting, nudity, touching, little bit of teasing. I'm tired. It's 12:32 on Christmas morning and I need to get to bed. If I missed anything gross let me know. But only if it's REALLY gross. Thanks!

WC ::: under 2,700 ish

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part VI

Part VII

You turned away from him and put your hand over your mouth as the sobs escaped. Katsuki walked up behind you and put his hands on your shoulders. "Look, y/n. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was just mad. Please, don't - don't cry. You know how much I hate it when you cry. It makes me feel like shit. Like I did somethin' wrong. Or, or hurt ya or somethin'. Fuck, y/n. Fuck."

He stood at your back and contemplated hugging you again. He wanted to. You weren't the only one missing the other's touch. But it didn't feel like the right thing to do. You were both raw. Both wounded.

He backed up and you turned to look at him. You couldn't hold back your tears. "Katsuki, you did hurt me. You didn't want me to come to your hero events. You didn't want me to come to your work events. It was always a secret that we were together. Always a secret because you'd get embarrassed by me or whatever. I couldn't keep doing that. I couldn't be someone you were ashamed of. I didn't want to be."

Katsuki's mouth dropped open. "Ash-? Ashamed? Are you fucking kidding me? You think I was ashamed of you? You think I didn't want you at those events with me? You're insane." He looked at you, shaking his head. "Y/n, I never once asked you to be anything but yourself. I loved you, I still love you, for who you are. I never wanted you to be something you weren't. That's why I never asked you to be more than that. I knew you weren't into the hero shit and that was fine."

"That's a bit of a stretch, Kats. I was into you. And you're a hero so you have to be into the 'hero shit'. All I ever wanted to do was support you and be there for you and ... and ... why am I yelling about this. Why now. God. It doesn't matter, anymore. Does it?" You stared at the floor, greatly regretting your choice of words. You had no idea what you were doing here anymore.

You looked back up at Katsuki and saw him staring at you like he was ready to explode. "Fuck. Fuck! Y/n, you fucking idiot. You know me. You know me better than anyone. You know that I never once wanted you to be someone you weren't. You know that I love you for who you are. You know that."

He walked up to you and grabbed you by the shoulders. "I ... I -" You choked on a sob and held your breath. "I don't know that. I don't think I've known that for a while. Katsuki, I love you. I really do. But I can't keep doing this. I can't keep being this person you seem to think I am. I can't keep feeling like I'm not good enough."

He looked around the room like he was desperately searching for something and his eyes finally landed on a plate in the sink. He stomped over to it and pulled it out only to slam it on the floor.

"What the fuck are you doing?" You yelled, gesturing to the shattered pieces on the tile. "That's the good china!"

"You think I give a shit right now, y/n? 'Cause I don't. I don't give a shit about the dumbass plates. An' I dunno why you keep bringing up this shit about how you had to be my secret. I thought that was something we agreed on in the beginning that I wouldn't go broadcastin' the fuckin' love of my life all over the goddamn place. You're a literal walking bullseye for all of the assholes out there that want to hurt me. Or lure me in. I ... Jesus fuckin' shit, y/n. Why're you just now bringing this shit up?" He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms and laughed an uncomfortable laugh. "How long you been holdin' on to this for. Huh?"

You couldn't answer him. You just looked at him with tears streaming down your cheeks and your bottom lip quivering.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. You don't have to tell me. But you do have to take responsibility for this shit show you're starring in. I can't believe I let you back here. I can't believe I let you back here. God. Fucking. Damn it. You should leave." He turned and walked toward the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

You heard the shower turn on and you knew that he needed a moment. So did you. But since when did you do what was best for you and him lately? Why start now?

Not even bothering to knock on the bathroom door, you barged in and stared at the naked man that stood before you. Once you were able to tear your eyes from his ridiculously beautiful body, you collected your train of thought and began yelling at him.

If there was one thing that really drove you crazy about Katsuki, it's his ability to remain unfazed by some things that are said to him. Whether they're said out of anger, hatred, frustration, or whatever. He could turn his receptors off at a moment's notice and just stare right back at the person blankly. Complacently.

"It takes a special kind of asshole to pull off the audacity that you walk around with all the time. You know that? I don't know if this is all your parent's fault or if this was some shitty personality trait you picked up on your own along the way. But you are such a shit that I can't even look at you right now!"

"Ah! But see, you weren't looking at me. And why'd you come in here if you can't even look at me right now? See, I think, that you can look at me. I think you want to look at me. You done starin' at my cock though, babe?" He asked you, in a deeper than usual voice. "Y'know, s'all yours, still, darlin'. Wann'it?"

Your chest was heaving at how angry you were at him right now. And for just a split second, you smiled. He cracked your armor and made you feel something other than the hurt that was boiling over in your gut.

"Oh-hoh, you fucker." You exhaled a chuckle. "You stupid fucker. You know what. I'm done. I'm just done. I don't want any part of your shit anymore. I'm leaving. I should have left when you told me to. But I'm a dumbass and just can't leave well enough alone. It's just -"

Katsuki interrupted you, "It's just ... you wanted to see my cock again." He tilted his head down to see your eyes. "Am I right? You don't gotta lie to kick it, baby girl. You never had to lie to kick it. Now, why don't we talk about what you really want to talk about. My fat ... hard ... cuh-ah-k." He punctuated each syllable with exaggerated annunciation.

You choked on the glob of spit you were trying to swallow. But what didn't go down your throat before, surely wasn't going to now. Now that he'd pointed out that his cock was, indeed, hard.

It was true. You did want to see his cock one more time. You missed it so much. It was so perfect. You couldn't believe that it was yours to play with anytime you wanted. The thought made you blush. Even standing here with the man you'd been with for 3 years. He still made you blush.

The thought occurred to you that maybe you two just needed to fuck it out. Get this frustration out of your system. But you knew it went well beyond angry sex.

"Tempting, Kats. It's all real tempting. Boy. And when you're being so romantic and sweet about it too. May I? May I try to appeal to you too?"

"Fuck. Yes. Appeal until you're blue in the face." He smiled and looked completely amused by your willingness to go along with this. "You think I'm gonna say no to ya? I told ya. It's yours. It's all yours. Take it, baby girl. Take it all. Just like I took your heart. An' I'm not fuckin' givin' it back, ya asshole. Callin' me an asshole. Tch."

"Shut up, shut up. Ok. Lemme see if I can be half as charming as you were just a minute ago. *ahem*", you cleared your throat before you started in on your attempt to show him just how stupid he sounded to you.

"You wanna see my cuh-n-tuh? You don't gotta lie to kick it, big boy. Just tell me what you're thinking about, c'mon ... whis-per ... to ... meee. Tell me what you really want. You want my tight ... wet ... pus-sy?"

Katsuki rubbed the back of his neck. "You think you're so damn funny, don't ya? Well, you're not. You're not cute right now. You're not being very funny. And you're asking for it. I'm fuckin' tellin' ya, you're gonna get what you have comin', ya little brat."

"Oh, am I? Well, what's that, big boy? Are you gonna make me laugh? Tickle me with your words? Huh? Oh, wait, wait. Let me say it like you would. HAHHH? You sound like an old man when you say ‘huh’." You laughed at your own joke and started to walk away.

He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back into the bathroom and slammed you into the wall, kicking the door shut so it slammed again. This time seemed so much louder to you, though.

You grunted at his brusque movement of shoving your back against the wall. It wasn't entirely unpleasant. But you were surprised that he could want this in the throes of fighting for your future together.

He looked down at you and smiled, his mouth slightly open. His breath hot on your face. "What's so funny?" He asked you. "What's ... so goddamn ... funny?"

You were aware that he was trying to rile you up. And you could throw yourself out the window right now for playing into it. He knew how to move around you. He knows how to move around you to get what he wants. Hell, half the time, in the past, he could just look at you the right way and you'd be bouncing on his lap while he sat with his arms outstretched on the back of the couch. Watching you like you were the only other person on the planet.

The memory made your body flush with heat. It started in your core and spread to your thighs and cheeks. You noticed your heart was beating faster than it was when you were screaming at each other. There's just something about quiet Katsuki that always got you.

He bent over and ran his lips along the shell of your ear and said, "I'll ask you again, baby cakes, what ... is ... so ... fuckin' ... funny? I think you want me to drag it out of you, yeah? You remember what happened the last time you were bein' sassy to me, don'cha? I had a good time that day. Can't say for sure if you did or not. But if memory serves me righ', you came 7 times that hour. God, you were bein' a smart ass. Was it 7?" He rubbed his chin against your shoulder. The stubble raking across the soft fabric created a scratchy sound that made you squirm.

You turned your head to look him in the eye and said, "It was 8, actually." You smirked and watched his expression change from lust to surprise.

"It was ... hah. I must've missed one. Well, then, I should try harder. No? Maybe I'll make you laugh. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just make you moan and cry my name."

You closed your eyes as he ran his hand up the inside of your thigh. "Stop playing with me, Kats. This isn't ... this isn't how it should be." You couldn't believe you were saying those words. But they were the truth. This wasn't how it should be.

But it was how you both wanted it to be. You knew it. You knew that neither of you had the willpower to stop this. To turn away from it.

"You want me to stop, darlin'? You want me to walk away from you, go back to the shower, and pretend like this never happened? Is that what you want?" He was so close to your face that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin.

You shook your head, still looking him in the eye. "No. I don't want you to stop. I want you to make me laugh. And moan. And ... and cry your name. But, Kats ... just, don't fuck with me right now. Ok? Just ... don't. Please. I can't handle it right now."

"Ok. I promise. No fucking with you. I'll keep it real. If I'm gonna laugh at you, I'll laugh because you're being funny. I won't fuck with you. I don't wanna make you mad at me. Not right now. Just wanna make you ... happy. Make you feel good. Make you feel like you used to. Like you should. Like we should."

You closed your eyes and nodded. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe that this was just something that you two needed to get out of your systems. Something that had been building for weeks and was now about to spill over.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, pulling him in by the waist. He kissed you back and lifted your leg up, pressing his hardness against your thigh. The feeling made your head spin. It made your body ache for him.

He grabbed your hand and guided it to his cock, letting you wrap your fingers around it. You felt him flex and harden even more in your grip. You sighed and bit your lip. You wanted him so bad.

"Take it off." He said. He took a couple of steps back and looked at you, serious as hell. "Take it all off. Let me see you." He watched you.

You stood there, still pressed against the wall, and pulled your shirt up and over your head, tossing it to the ground. You reached behind you and unclasped your bra, letting it fall to the floor on top of your shirt. You slid your pants and underwear down your legs, stepping out of them and kicking them away.

You stood there, naked and vulnerable, waiting for him to say or do something. But he just looked at you. Like he was trying to memorize every curve and angle of your body. Like he wanted to remember what you looked like.

"You're so goddamn beautiful, y/n. So fuckin' beautiful." He took a deep breath and shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "You ready for me?"

"I - yes. I'm ready. Are you? Are you ready … for me?"

"More than you could ever imagine." He stepped toward you and wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up and carrying you to the bed. He laid you down and looked at you, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he started to kiss his way down your body.

He licked and sucked at your skin, leaving marks in his wake. He knew that he shouldn't be marking you up but he couldn't help it. He wanted everyone to know that you were his.

In whatever way he could have right now. 

He would take it. 

And he would leave it.

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Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @millennialmagicalgirl @arlerts-angel

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[queenofzan]

bernie's future wife

i decided a long time ago that bernie wound up marrying an asexual woman from the trading flotilla. considering bernie is "ayla's" (in the same way hari is mara's and lind is nic's) i then thought about what bernie's wife's relationship with ayla specifically might be. so here's raisa!

---

Raisa was sitting in the courtyard, letting the water from the roof drip onto her legs before it reached the thirsty plants below. It was interesting, how every bit of the village seemed to have multiple purposes. Some of the roofs collected rainwater, some of the roofs charged heat-stones, some of the roofs were little gardens themselves. It didn't have a unified aesthetic, except for how it had all been built by the same hands.

Raisa loved this village. She had since the first time she was allowed to come, instead of hanging back with the nanny ship. It was so eclectic and alive and lived-in. This village had never been taken over by a gang of rich people and turned to their interests, or sucked dry by an entitled noble, or run ahead of its own resource production until it dried up and began to decay. It was a mish-mash of aesthetics and purposes, unified by the desire to help everyone.

She wasn't sure how much the villagers would want her around, after the fight she'd just had with Bernie. Bernie was one of the headwoman's kids, which meant she was also one of the Destroyer's kids. They were beloved by the entire village, but the anger of the two most important people in the village--one of whom was a literal god!--was the real danger. She didn't think they'd tell the fleet to fuck off, but they might ask the captains to not have Raisa come.

She was near tears again before she realized it.

She loved this village, of course, but she was really upset about Bernie. She'd tried so hard not to mess things up this time. She'd tried so hard.

"Hey, Raisa," someone called. Raisa looked up to see it was Bernie's mother, the village headwoman. Raisa couldn't help cringing a little.

The village headwoman, who, like the rest of her village, didn't seem to have a family name and therefore everyone simply called Ayla, didn't seem to notice. She beckoned Raisa and said, "Come take a walk with me."

She was in for it now, Raisa thought, but it wasn't like she didn't get it. She'd be pissed at someone for fighting with Bernie too, if she wasn't the one doing it. She glumly got to her feet and followed Ayla down the street to the fields.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. The moist ground smelled greener than the dankest parts of a ship. Some of the other members of the fleet didn't like it, but Raisa always had. Sure, it meant she wasn't on the sea, but it meant she was on good land, at least.

As they reached the far end of the fields, where they'd be able to see anyone approaching them from pretty far away, well before they could be overheard, Ayla said, "So Bernie told me you had a fight."

Raisa sighed. "Yes, ma'am," she said.

Ayla frowned at her. "I'm not going to yell at you," she said. "Or I don't intend to, at least. You've been to enough family dinners now, I think you know I'm not always prepared to get so...worked up."

"Yes, ma'am," Raisa said. "Thank you."

"Do you like having sex with Bernie?" Ayla asked.

Raisa hesitated, because Ayla would hardly be asking if Bernie hadn't told her about the fight. "I don't hate it," she said.

Ayla sighed. "Kiddo," she murmured. Which was a little condescending, Raisa was twenty-eight, but Ayla had been running this village since she was nineteen, and she was old enough to be Raisa's mother.

When Raisa started dating Bernie, people asked her if she was intimidated to be dating one of Mara's children, and did she worry about being smited if she fucked something up. Which was silly, because for all that Mara was the god of destruction, he was a harmless funny uncle as far as Raisa was concerned. She just couldn't square the idea of Mara the Destroyer with the man who used to toss rocks up into the air and disintegrate them with magic to entertain children. But it was also that Bernie wasn't Mara's kid. Like, she literally was, he was her father, there was no denying that, but Bernie was first and foremost her mother's daughter. Hari was the one stuck to Mara like glue, and Lind was very much Nic's. Bernie was Ayla's.

Anyway, Ayla did all the negotiating with the captains, and even though she never introduced herself as such, all the other villagers looked to her for decisions because she was the village headwoman. Raisa had the impression they made their decisions more collectively, much like a ship did, then had Ayla act as their captain to speak to outsiders and do business. And Ayla was a temperamental and stubborn leader. Raisa never wanted to get on her bad side.

"Kiddo," Ayla murmured. "Did it never occur to you that you don't have to have sex with your girlfriend?"

"Of course I do," Raisa said. "That's what being someone's girlfriend is."

"Oh, yikes," Ayla said. "Are you saying you're only dating my daughter to get in her pants?"

Raisa flushed. "No, of course not," she said.

"Then you think she's only dating you to get in your pants," Ayla said.

"No," Raisa said. "That's not what I meant at all."

"So sex isn't all there is to dating, then."

"No, but it's one of the things people expect," Raisa said.

"And you can tell people to stop expecting it," Ayla said. "It's actually pretty easy."

"Easy for you to say," Raisa muttered, aware she sounded sullen but unable to help it.

Ayla laughed. "Gods," she said. "Bernie really ought to have learned from Hari and Fatima's example," she said, shaking her head. "Raisa, do you know why Bernie asked me to talk to you? Instead of Nic or Mara, hell, even Hari or Lind?"

"She's your favorite," Raisa said. "Or...vice-versa, at least."

"Fair, but not why she came to me," Ayla said. If Raisa had said that about any of the parents in the fleet, they would have denied it, even when it was obvious. That was just one of the things she liked about the village, that they didn't deny obvious things just because they were distasteful. Usually, that made them less distasteful. Ayla went on, "When she calmed down, she realized what you were saying sounded a lot like things I used to say."

Raisa frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"It sounded to her like you don't like having sex with her," Ayla said, "shh, I'm not done--because it sounds like you don't really like having sex with anyone."

"It's fine," Raisa said.

"Kiddo, I don't even have a sex drive and I don't think sex is supposed to just be 'fine'," Ayla said.

Raisa looked over at her, frowning. "What do you mean," she asked, "you don't have a sex drive?"

"I mean I have never in my life looked at someone and thought, ooh, I need some of that," Ayla said. "No, not even Mara or Nic. I didn't have sex at all until I was older than you are now, which was a good twelve years into our marriage. Or, twelve years into Nic and Mara's marriage, which none of us realized functionally included me too."

"What?" Raisa asked. "But you--I mean, I've heard you have sex with them."

Ayla chuckled. "Never say that around Nic," she said. "Ze'd die. Yes, I do have sex with them now. Not as often as they have sex with each other, because I still don't want it the way they do. I don't think about it all the time, which I'm pretty sure Nic would if ze wasn't always tinkering with something. I do it because it makes them happy, and it's fun, but it's also on my terms, which I'm pretty sure lots of people would think didn't even count as sex."

"What?" Raisa asked again.

Ayla was quiet for a few moments. Raisa waited for her to collect her thoughts. "For a long time," Ayla said eventually, "I thought the fact that I didn't want to have sex meant I could never be in a relationship. I figured it wouldn't be worth it to someone else. I thought they'd think I was childish, or selfish, or that I didn't actually like them."

Raisa found tears swarming her eyes again. "You did?" she asked.

"Gods, did I ever," Ayla said. She shook her head. "My first village, growing up--even though we were heretics because of the farming, it was very strict in other ways. I can't imagine anyone there ever accepting Nic wasn't a woman, or Lind not being a man. They'd only be alright with Hari and Fatima if they pretended Fatima was a man." For a second, Raisa couldn't even understand why they'd choose to think Fatima was a man instead of Hari; it had been so long since Fatima swapped. Ayla went on, "They told me for years that I was being childish and selfish, for not being interested in any of the village boys, and wishing my friends would stop pairing off."

"Oh," Raisa said. "I had no idea."

"Of course not," Ayla said. "If someone tried to say that in our village, we'd have Mara toss them into the ocean. Same as we'd do with anyone who tried to insinuate Nic is 'really' a woman, or that Chiamaka should settle down with a man and have kids of her own. But that's the sort of thing that made me think there was no point in even talking to Nic and Mara about how it made me feel when they started dating. Even if you discounted the fact that I was supposed to have feelings for one of them, not both of them--what was even the point, when they already had each other, and I couldn't offer the whole girlfriend experience anyway? Why would they even bother?"

"I really don't mind having sex," Raisa said. "I do like making Bernie feel good. It's just so exhausting."

"Then you should tell her that," Ayla said. "Because right now, she thinks you hate her."

"I could never!" Raisa said. "I love her, I want to be with her, I--" She just managed to stop herself from telling Bernie's mother that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Bernie before she told Bernie directly. "It's just, sometimes it feels like that's all she wants from me, especially when we've been apart. And I know that's not true, it just...feels that way sometimes. And. You're right, I don't think other people feel this way about their girlfriends. I know most of the people in the Fleet are just as excited for that reunion sex when they get back to port as Bernie is. But she doesn't have another person to have sex with when I'm not there, and I don't know how I'd feel about that anyway."

"No, but you don't even know if that's something she would want or ask for," Ayla said. "Because you haven't actually talked to her about this."

"But--but what if it means she doesn't want me anymore?" Raisa asked.

Ayla set her hand on Raisa's shoulder. Quietly, she said, "If you had to lie to her to keep her interested, it wasn't a very good fit, then, was it?"

Raisa started crying. "I don't want to break up," she said. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't want to lose it."

"There's a whole slew of things in between 'saying what you think she wants to hear' and 'breaking up forever'," Ayla said. "I don't know what she's willing to give up to keep you, but neither do you, huh? You should talk to her about it before you jump right to 'breaking up'."

Raisa sniffled. "Like what?" she asked. "I can't ask her to never have sex."

"Sure you can," Ayla said. "I went fourteen years sleeping with Nic and Mara without having sex with them. They still agreed I was the mother of their children and their wife."

"But like you said, they have each other," Raisa said.

"Sure, but you can still ask," Ayla said. "If that's something Bernie can't do, you look for the next compromise that might work for both of you. Say she can have casual sex with other people but not date them, or try and figure out a way to make sex less of a chore for you, or see if having sex less often helps you focus on the parts you like without the rest getting annoying. I'm sure there's other things I'm not thinking of that the two of you can come up with." She squeezed Raisa's shoulder. "At least then, you will have tried. Honestly, without trying to be something you're not."

Raisa wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "I thought you'd be mad at me," she said.

"For what, trying to be what you thought a good girlfriend was?" Ayla asked.

"At least for lying," Raisa said.

Ayla sighed again. "Kiddo," she said. "There were times I wished I hadn't told everyone in the village I wasn't going to fuck them, so I could have tried to put up with it, for Nic or Mara's sake. Nic never told zeir parents ze wasn't a girl. Danny spent years trying to make himself be interested in women. It's not great for your relationship that you felt like you had to lie, but feeling like that, like you had to, makes it a lot harder to be mad about."

After a while, Raisa asked, "How do you do it? How do you...make yourself believe they don't mind?"

"It helps that they didn't for fourteen years," Ayla said. "But we've talked about it, when we first agreed we were all married, and since then. They gave me time and space to figure out what I might actually be okay with, and they didn't try to prod me into things for their sake. And they trust me when I say I like having sex with them even though I don't find them sexy and don't want them touching me, so the least I can do is trust them when they say they love me whether or not we have sex."

"That sounds terrifying," Raisa said.

Ayla laughed again. "Well, there is a reason it took fourteen years," she said. "I didn't even know where to start. Nic and Mara both tried, at least once, to let me know there was a place for me with them if I wanted it, but I couldn't believe they meant it, or knew what it sounded like. And they didn't want to push, since the first thing I said about it was that I wasn't interested and they shouldn't bother hitting on me." She nudged Raisa's arm. "You have the advantage that we tried really hard to make this a village where it was safe to be weird when it doesn't hurt anyone."

"But it could hurt her," Raisa said.

"Unfortunately, you already hurt her," Ayla said. "But also: you not wanting to fuck someone doesn't hurt them. It just doesn't. If they hear you don't want to fuck them and get upset about it, that's their problem, not yours. You hurt Bernie by not telling her the truth, and letting her think you weren't attracted to her anymore. Not by being less into sex than she is."

"Can I--" She cut herself off. She didn't have any right to ask that, not of Ayla. But then, who else could she ask? Any of the other villagers would ask Ayla her opinion anyway. Raisa took a deep, shaky breath, and then another that was less shaky. She asked, "If--if it doesn't work with Bernie, can I still come here? Can I still visit?"

Ayla stopped walking and pulled Raisa into a hug. "Oh, you little idiot," she murmured. "Of course you can."

Raisa's eyes filled with tears again. "Really?" she asked.

"You'd have to do a lot worse than just breaking up with my daughter to get kicked out of this village," Ayla said. She squeezed Raisa. "What matters is that you let people do their own thing and try to get along. And I know you can do that."

Raisa nodded into Ayla's shoulder, not quite trusting herself to speak.

Ayla took a step back, keeping her hands on Raisa's arms. "Now you go tell Bernie what you told me and figure out what you're going to try that's in between lying and keeping secrets and breaking up forever, okay? I know it's scary. But you deserve a relationship where you can be yourself."

Raisa nodded.

[azsazz]

CC3 Anon

spoilers under cut

Hiii it’s CC anon. THANK GOD YOU RESPONDED NO ONE ELSE I KNOW IS READING THIS BOOK 😭

I finished CC3 last night and yeah. I enjoyed the pacing at the beginning of this book more than the first two books because we’re already in the thick of the climax and don’t have to build up suspense again but omg it dragged in the middle.

I did not care for Ithan at all I’m sorry. And yes he hasn’t been a pro sun all player in YEARS idk why she keeps bringing it up. I think someone stumbled and he caught her and Sarah went “his sunball reflexes” HES A WOLF HE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE QUICK REFLEXES. Had him running up and down to resurrect Sigrid and in the end it DIDNT EVEN MATTER.

Lmaoooo Ithan mostly acted ago appropriate if I think about it. He's like 20 I'm assuming since he's around college age. He's def not my favorite character either tbh. Love how everything fell into his lap tho. Literally anytime he was mentioned so was snuball it was so fucking dumb.

I know you like Tharion but can he do anything right omg. Ithan carried him with the Viper Queen. Sathia carried him in front of the Ocean Queen 😭 I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE ANTIDOTES OMG and then Ithan went and did the same. I see why they are best friends like wow stupid really follows stupid.

LMAO I love Tharion, yes he'd definitely dumb and needs to make better decisions but I liked how witty he was in the first book. He really needs to stop with the whole woe is me act tho. omg the antidotes shit don't even get me started. half of the stuff that she wrote for the book didn't even matter in the end. like, we could've cut this damn book down 300 pages tbh, nothing would've been missed because nothing made sense even.

I don’t hate Bryce. She did annoy me though. I hated when Aelin wouldn’t tell people about her plans and could not stand it from Bryce here. Her yelling at Hunt about having to face the consequences of their actions. I’m like dude you went to another world and came back powered up. Hunt stayed and was tortured brutally like what? I know why she doesn’t want him to have guilt about it but it’s his 3rd time going through this and failing. And now he has more to lose. Of course he would be feeling a type of way.

I do not like her at all lol. The whole not telling people plans things pissed me off because her loud mouth is not like that. AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL HUNT "OH YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE" girl maybe if you told someone the fuckin plan they would feel a bit more confident about going through with it for fucks sake. she's a mean girl and i can't stand her and i don't think she's funny at all she is so cringe to me haha. HUNT HAS ALREADY TRIED GOING AGAINST THE ASTERI AND HE WAS TORTURED FOR 200 YEARS?! Then he gets freed and has to do it all over again?! Like, why are we yelling at this man? of course he's weary.

I’m not the biggest fan of her swagger at times. Like sometimes we don’t need the quippy (read: unfunny) one liners :/

LITERALLY

The STAKES???? Bryce should’ve stayed dead! It would have been a lot more impactful. Even the torturing scenes kind of didn’t hit as much after the fact cause everyone can just regrow their limbs and be fine. No one had a single nightmare about what happened to them? I thought we would see something like that beyond “a glimmer of darkness in his eyes” idk :/

The entire "someone dying only to be brought to life on the next page" has definitely fucking worn off now but sjm apparently can't see that. she created a world with 50+ characters only to not use half of them when it matters. so stupid. Also, i don't remember them being able to regrow limbs tbh.

Maybe the book would’ve been too long but I was genuinely shocked we didn’t get more scenes of anyone on the actual battlefield. We were mostly in the palace after Bryce and Hunt teleported, and then the moment with Lidia and the sprites. But maybe the book would’ve been too toooo long idk.

Yeah there really was only like 60 pages of the end scene. but as soon as i saw the word space i actually almost DNFd it because what the actual fuck was that.

I will say I really like how the male friendships are genuine. I honestly can’t tell you that Bryce, Fury, and June are friends LMAO. (I’m exaggerating but I do kinda agree with this) .

Yeah, i love Ruhn, dec, and flynn's relationship. i think sjm tries to be like "oh yeah girl power, strong fmc's" but there's no women in the books? and they all don't like each other? like danika, bryce, fury, and juniper seemed like mean girls? girls that didn't give a fuck about anyone else? idk. the way that the men to women ratio in her books is very interesting to me. and the fack that EVERY man that comes across bryce thinks she's the most gorgeous girl to have ever lived...fuck off with that logic.

My girl Jesiba :////// She was my favorite for sure. I'm indifferent about her lol. Her entire storyline i feel was just made up like two months ago so she could connect to the other series lol

I do agree with what you said about Bryce (I legit almost wrote Aelin LMFAO) . I was not expecting her to just say no rulers for the Fae at all. But I guess a Senate would be more democratic.

SO STUPID. The Senate (starwars)

Im sure there will be a fourth book but I am so uninterested in Tharion and Ariadne like who caresssssssss. If Im interested in Ithan, it’s because I want to see more Perry. I wonder how connected this world and ACOTAR will remain.

I honestly hope it ends at 4 books. I think that would be a perfect ending because there's four houses. no need for more im already sick of it. yeah i liked perry too. i hope they're no longer connected lol.

Ruhn and Lidia :) but HE LEGIT SHOT HER?? I know she was acting irrationally because of her sons and he wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself killed but then he shot her. Like okay 😭. I think my favorite couples are Bryce’s parents and Lidia and Ruhn. Ruhn just seems so hot 😭.

Ruhn is a winner for sure for sure.

I’m writing too much and I’m scared this app will just shut down so I’ll quit here. I still think the first book is the worst one in this series. But I had fun with this one (despite my hang ups) and I’m glad it’s over (for now :/).

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT TOO!

CC anon!! I went to goodreads to read reviews of the book and I genuinely cannot believe how many 5 star ratings this book got. I mean, I can and can’t believe it. Atp anything Sarah puts out will average at least a 4 star rating on there and sell a crap ton.

I think people just give her that rating because she's popular, not because they read lol. oh yeah, why do you think she released 5 different bonus chapters. talk about a greedy cash grab. that mentality kinda makes me sick im not even going to lie.

I was reading through the 2-star reviews and someone mentioned their shock at how quickly Ruhn and Lidia resolved their issues which I totally agree with. She said she hated him and would never forgive him for what he did, and she was right! I know why Ruhn did it, but I genuinely still cannot believe he actually shot her, even if she was gonna be okay. That’s a terrible time to be worrying about a wound like that when you want to be at full strength to fight for your children.

Yeah half of the plot lines felt stupid? like what? he couldn't have stopped her any other way...really? i feel like she did not think this book through as well as she thought she did tbh. seems to be her thing these days.

(Even when Hunt said he hated Bryce for stopping him from killing Celestina, I was like Oh!)

OMG THAT WAS ACTUALLY WILD. YEAH OKAY. I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE MATES.

The reviewer said Sarah should have left their relationship on the rocks so we could get Ruhn groveling in the fourth book, and I can’t get that idea out of my head. ESPECIALLY with their bonus scene. Idk if you’ve read it but I was like ??? I like them as a couple and I like their story, but it did seem like it was all patched up insanely quickly. Like if you shot me then the very LEAST you could do is get my kids to safety. That alone would not necessarily make me forgive you.

I didn't read their bonus chapter but i can't believe they moved in with each other literally after like two days of knowing each other in real life. bro, you just found out she has two kids? you don't know the woman at all lol. no, everyone has to have a happy ending by the last page of the book or else. lol. no suspense.

[nerves-nebula]

You know what's funny?

I was a very quiet baby, and then toddler and then kid -- partly because I couldn't speak lmao -- but like, in the sense that I wouldn't fuss. I still don't cry, and I've never lashed out or yelled at anybody because I don't feel the standard sad and angry.

But my little sister has always felt everything so much. I can't remember a single day she hasn't yelled at me for literally whatever, and every single time she'd hurt my feelings when we were smaller and I'd report it to my parents, they'd tell me "it's because she feels" and leave her to it.

And I never understood why she did that until I saw your comics. You're somehow able to portray strong feelings? Sadness and anger. Still have no idea how that stuff feels like but that last comic panel made me realize I understood why Leo lashed out you know?

So idk. I think I can ignore my younger sister yelling at me now. Thanks to your art.

that's wild. that I like, helped you with that?? just by expressing myself? god i love art.

im definitely more on the emotional side but I'd HATE to hurt anyone so I try to keep it all internal instead of lashing out. unfortunately, being more honest with my emotions means that sometimes they make me into a Shitty Ass person. honestly T has helped me a lot with emotional regulation, at least, I'm not having sobbing fits nearly as much since I started it haha.

but yea my entire childhood was just miserable cause of how emotional i felt all the time, and how i never got help for it. so I'm very well acquainted with Extreme Emotions.

I'm glad I helped you with that. emotions are hard, I'd say that strong enough emotions borderline make you temporarily insane (speaking from experience) and panic is a hell of a drug. though that's not an excuse to lash out at people, and it sucks that you keep getting yelled at. your sister should work on that tbh.

but I imagine that if you've never had such overwhelming, all consuming emotions, it might be hard to understand the idea of someone lashing out so viciously.

BUT now i'm just rambling :) POINT IS this is very sweet and I'm happy to help hah

[rin-and-jade]

hey again, it's the one who talked last time about not knowing if I was verbally abused. (you can call me Pop it's no secret really)

well not really but yes, I'm back with more questions and stuff.

so when I was little, a was basically mute. I barley remember talking, I literally didn't talk unless I was obligated or needed to.

because when I was little I just was left alone alot, I don't remember my mum being around honestly. I usually just stayed in a spot silently and played, for hours and hours. or watched tv for even longer.

I vividly remember people asking me to talk for longer than short bursts and my voice used to CRACK I was literally 6 or 7 and I had voice cracks, and it hurt to speak for longer than needed.

(it's like way better now because I started to think aloud and stuff, literally improved more in the 2 years I started thinking aloud than the rest of my life.)

but I was asking because is this a normal thing? idk.

part 2

I noticed this ages ago, but sometimes I'm completely disgusted by pork and pork fat and the mere thought of it is enough to make me gag. and other times I ate it with no problems, I always wondered why that was. but then I learned about in OSDD/DID alters can have different likes and dislikes and it clicked, because sometimes I can barely eat anything my family gets because it's mostly pork and it's disgusting I hate the taste. but I think for other alters they don't mind it or can at least stomach parts of it so we don't starve.

there has literally been times where I voluntarily starve because I think pork is THAT disgusting, but sometimes another alter takes over and they eat it no problem. which even though I think it's disgusting and don't ever want to eat pork again, my other alters eat whatever is given and it contributes to this cycle where my family thinks I 'like' pork and get confused when I gag.

part 3

I was literally berated and yelled at and given the silent treatment and basically after I learned how to read. I just taught basically everything to myself, literally I learned how to write and spell alone by myself. I learned how to speak for longer times by myself.

I taught myself alot, mostly because I had to lol. my mum had given up on trying thank god honestly best decision ever, and I don't go to school never did. even when other people tried to teach me it failed miserly, except maths. but even then it was because I had an amazing teacher, that actually let me go slow. but I mostly taught myself everything, my mum likes to think she's taught me loads but most of it was literally.. me.

idk, I learned most of my cooking skills from her. but at the same time I taught myself alot, idk. it's weird being the person who has learned so little in so much time.

I didn't learn to read until I was 10, I didn't learn to spell until I was 13, I didn't learn to write until I was 15.

I've always been a slow learner, and had autism/adhd/dyslexia/other stuff. but I never really gave up, people say I'm stupid and lazy and I don't do the work. but I do, I'm just really fucking slow.

I've always been, it's a freaking miracle I know this much honestly.

but I have worked hard and made myself proud no matter what anyone says, even when I'm torn down again and again by my mum's "talks" I try harder and I learn and I grow.

and well whatever, I'm proud of myself.

part 4

I never really noticed but, now that I'm older and I've learned more about OSDD/DID. I realise that I've always kinda had alters???

like I remember talking to my imaginary friend, but idk how other kids experienced that stuff. but my imaginary friend was always in my head saying everything is going to be okay, she was way older than me too. and spoke in not a stutter or lisp.

and now that I'm older idk, I think that was whole heartedly the first sign. like idk.

that's it yours Pop

Part 1 - While the definition of normal is subjective for everyone, in my sense i don't think being mute to the point of interfering daily living is normal. People, how i see, can talk normally without needing to be prompted or forced.

Part 2 - I also hate pork and confused why they like eating it eugh..

Part 3 - Thats actually surprising for me, you should keep it up even if you're slow,, all credits to you genuinely. If you need me to teach you something just lmk ok.

Part 4 - If i recall correctly normal kids also have imaginary friends?.. but only last in childhood, rarely sticked along to adulthood. Pretty sure its also voluntary, though not the best wording to describe that. We also thought it was an imaginary friend but that was so wrong until years later so,, yeah..

Im gonna wait for your next update bud see you next time <3

- j

[folieanoot]

why does halsey's music literally mirror my life so much??? it's crazy

personal info/trauma dumping

i already heavily relate to anyone bipolar and bisexual. then halsey came out as nonbinary like 2 years after i did and i was like omg they are just like me fr.

i believed i was bipolar for years, and as a teen i struggled with hypomania and mood swings that resembled bipolar 2, and i was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in 2019, but we figured out this was a misdiagnosis. bc snris work for me, and historically give people with bipolar trouble and i haven't had any manic episodes since college and hypomania can be a bpd-influenced thing, i think it makes a lot more sense that i'm just a borderline really prone to mood swings.

but then the illness happened, and i listened to TGI. and holy shit.

i became disabled in early 2020 and am now chronically ill. for a year i bounced from specialist to specialist, being told "we don't know what's wrong with you" over and over when i was bed-bound, in so much pain i could barely move or think or eat or sleep, just laying there crying and exhausted and sleep-deprived and consumed by pain. doctors trying to blame my physical condition on my mental illness and dismiss me over and over. the end resonates with me because of this.

while i didn't have an abusive partner, thank god, i was emotionally abused by my (new) stepdad and because i was too ill to take care of myself, i HAD to live with him for over a year. it took me a while to accept it wasn't just "he's mean and he hates me bc i'm disabled and sick and mentally ill" but genuinely emotional abuse that traumatized me. life of the spider hits so close to home i cannot explain.

i started dating my current boyfriend after i had made some progress in my condition, but now that we live together he has to deal with me when i'm at my worst. and it brings up that anxiety and trauma of being a burden that got so much worse while living with my stepdad. panic attack reminds me of all the insecurities i have of dating while disabled/chronically ill.

i suspected having adhd in 2020, when i went on adhd stimulants, and i took an assessment last year-ish. and my whole life my family was so upset with me and frustrated that i couldn't remember things, i couldn't keep track of things, and at one point i straight up yelled "i don't know how to make my brain work the same way yours does!" because i always felt (and was kind of TOLD indirectly) that i was stupid, irresponsible, lazy, disrespectful, a disappointment. no matter how hard i tried, how desperately i wanted to be different, to be "good", i couldn't improve because my brain can't function correctly. darwinism explains this so, so well.

my mom got ovarian cancer when i was 12. my dad was never around, so my sister and i took care of her a lot. she said she wouldn't die, and she would live through it, but i was always afraid she was just saying that to make me feel better, and it was so painful to watch her wither away into what felt like nothing in front of me. and when i asked her what she hated most about cancer, she said "the possibility of not getting to see you grow up." i was already really attached to my mom, since my dad was absent and unreliable, and ever since being afraid of my mom dying in middle school, i have had trouble watching her age. i feel grateful when i notice new wrinkles and grayer hair, and she's more on top of her health than anyone i know, but in the back of my mind i'm so scared of when i'm going to lose her for real.

i started self harming around 11. i was struggling so much, but my mom was recovering from a broken pelvis for a year and then had cancer immediately after, and i felt like i couldn't tell her my problems then because what the fuck did i have to feel bad about when she was fucking bed-bound and unable to walk and dying? and i was being bullied at school so i had no friends to talk to, and i tried to tell my sister but she brushed me off. and when the school staff had to get involved with the bullying situation, the parents didn't believe me and so the school did nothing and just told my bullies "stop being mean" which of course just meant they didn't talk to me at all, and i was alienated and outcast and ignored.

so i mostly self harmed because i threw tantrums and had panic attacks that i couldn't control and had no outlet that worked. but part of me wanted people to notice, but then when people did notice, i hated it. they gave me pity and concern, and i wanted comfort and validation. i wanted my peers to see "all those bad things you think about me - i know, i'm the worst, and i'm doing something about it. look! i punish myself for it, so you don't need to punish me." and i wanted an adult to tell me i've done nothing wrong. i was so relieved when my mom suggested therapy first, without even knowing about my self harm, because i wanted to feel better, i wanted help. but because they'd tell my mom, and my mom finding out was my worst fear, i never told my therapists about my suicidal thoughts and self harm either. and i became addicted to pain, in any way i could inflict it on myself.

i always think it's such sick irony that i used to crave physical pain because of my emotional stress. and now, most of my emotional stress is because of the chronic physical pain i have now. i wanted pain? great. now i can't escape the pain. and i feel so guilty for wanting to die for so many years, for trying to kill myself and making my mom drive 6 hours to see me at the hospital, when my mom did almost die and wanted me to live more than anything. the "letter to god" series really makes me think about my mom.

this may be a stretch, but the sexual undertones in dog years's hook remind me of how i've struggled with my sexuality in relation to my self worth and my disability. for a long time, one of the only things i felt good about was being "good at sex," and the only way i could stand to look at myself was if i thought i was attractive or desirable. and in the more main message of dog years, it explores the agency in one's suffering, the guilt of wanting to hurt yourself and suffer and die, and then when you want to be better now you're ill and suffering. but it's not the suffering you inflicted on yourself, it's not the suffering you chose, and now you don't want it anymore. feeling like you can't control your body OR your mind, and wishing you had the agency to decide being "put down" because of everything being inflicted upon you without your say.

there are lots of other songs i relate to on the album, but these ones are just. so applicable to my life and my experience it's crazy.

[sleeplessvalley]

god I'm letting someone else front after I'm done typing this, I just need to express it or I'm going to pop like a balloon

like fucking

I have early memories scattered everywhere

in 1st grade where a kid insulted my shirt (and I still hold the grudge for some reason)

the time when we were making a little neighborhood with milk cartons on the floor in 1st grade and I knocked a little toy car into it; nothing even happened to the carton houses but I got yelled at for it. other people had knocked things off their tables into it and were only told gently to go in and pick it up

the many, many, MANY times my writing stuff would go missing from my desk, from 1st grade to 5th, and if it happened to anyone else it was always to the other 'weird' kids

1st grade, we were doing the 'who took the cookies from the cookie jar' with the whole class and the teacher just skipped over me

1st grade, a couple of kids would run away from me whenever I tried to play with them. naturally I chased them because I wanted to talk to them and shit, but they wouldn't even give me the chance to talk and I do remember them both calling me names

how MY ENTIRE CLASS aside from one girl (who moved to oregon before the next schoolyear started) in 2nd grade thought I was weird and I knew, just knew, that people were avoiding me the whole year. when she moved I also had only one friend until 4th grade.

3rd grade. in its entirety. was awful. my teacher then was strict but she hated me in particular, made me feel awful for not knowing how to read a clock of all things because nobody told me how, and having difficulty with a research project on leaves (such a long story), various classmates humiliated me and my wax museum project, the nurse would get upset with me for not taking my asthma medication. there's so much stuff that happened in this year alone and I don't remember all of it, but I remember a lot of tears both at school and at home because my mom would get angry with me.

I also remember in 2nd and 3rd grade I was put into some little program during school that I thought everyone went to and only just recently realized it was for problem kids, what with all the board and card games on being a good kid and being nice to others and stuff. this continued until 5th grade, and then in 6th until I graduated highschool I was switched over to the school therapists

a girl in 4th grade telling me she was a better girlfriend than I was in regards to a kid we were both friends with. I wasn't interested in him and told her we were just friends, she insisted I was and this quite literally led to her and her friend group bullying me from 4th grade through to 11th (it would've been until my last day of highschool but covid hit us in march of 11th grade, which is. something I shouldn't have to be thankful towards a virus for)

one boy in my 4th grade class just yelling at me that I was weird and that I should leave him and others alone

as mentioned prior, from partway through 2nd grade until 4th grade, I had one friend. a group of girls invited me to sit with them for lunch one day near the start of the year and I thought finally, this is it, these are going to be my friends, they seem to like me. this is a surprise tool that will help us later.

various other things in this year that I also don't remember. sums up to more tears at school and at home.

by fucking 5th grade. 5th grade. I was saying that I wanted to kill myself and seeing an OUTSIDE therapist for that

5th grade is also the year when everything started going downhill. near daily I'd get yelled at by my teacher, or my mom, or the afterschool people, for forgetting something in my classroom. usually a piece of homework. only here did my mom really start noticing all the problems I was having, and she thought it was a goddamn developmental thing that could be fixed? so she took me to a neurologist and that's how I got my ADHD diagnosis. I remember none of it but she tells me the story. of how she went with me, the doctors said that, and her response. which is and I shit you not "how can that be, my kid has been fine and suddenly it's a complete 180 compared to before". never got support for that. still haven't, probably never going to.

I'm not even getting into everything that came after in detail. all that's important is that in the middle of 2016 I was put on an anxiety medication, it completely fucked me over and made me depressed, shortly after 8th grade started I lost everyone who even tolerated me at the time, and I wanted to commit suicide so badly that it resulted in the only time I've ever tried to harm myself. got suspended from school and sent to a mental hospital, then was playing catch-up for a month.

all that.

all that, and I sit here going 'I don't have very bad trauma. there was one incident in 2016, but nothing more than that' while continually thinking all my abnormal responses to things now are normal.

and I sit here having gone 'but how could I have OSDD. how could I have ASPD. it doesn't make sense, I've had a pretty normal time' in the past.

[brittlebonesguy]

4,5,6,7

stephanie.....she doesn’t have to sleep out in the rain every night jesus. once again clay i can’t stand you dumbass opinions kindly shut your mouth for the rest of the season please. all three of these men of this tribe: ted, clay, and brian are at the bottom of my list i hate them. i truly don’t like ted or clay. you wanna know why it wasn’t a team effort shii ann? because it was dead fucking quiet even coming up with a name for the dummy you’re meant to decorate. you also literally said you don’t care. so.....all of you be annoying i guess. i REALLY hate the way the men talk about the women on the orange tribe. and i don’t like that they call jan granny. especially since they do nothing around the camp. the women are getting the water, making the food and the men? sitting the water. and there it is. the outright sexism. fuck you guys. helen is eating with these comments against the men oof. thats fully correct ghandia unfortunately women never stick together in this game and all three of you will be picked off. wanna try that sentence again clay or are you just gonna keep stumbling through it. stop not jeff chastising clay’s choice of a nickname. i am so disappointed in you helen. truly. ghandia you have every right not to let it go. 

who wouldn’t for you clay, you fucking pig. ........a lot of people eat the organs of animals robb. and also why are you turning your nose up to perfectly good food just because it’s an organ. you guys have been starving for days but you draw the line there? he better pray one of the challenge isn’t gross food based. brian really has a high opinion of himself. great little piss baby got hurt and somehow its shii ann’s fault. can’t wait to hear him complain about this for the next three day. these people are so useless. how the fuck do you lose  whole fucking boat. the island isn’t mysterious you’re just stupid. ted is absolutely responsible for the boat but i’ll just blame it on you anyway clay. its more fun that way. ot instead of yelling you could just get out of the water and read the fucking note yourself. clay: its betting on food jan: its a gambling thing clay: no shit sherlock. okay,,,,,so you’re allowed to point out the obvious but no one else? your sexism is showing give me 10 minutes with him alone in a room and he’s coming back with at least three broken bones. helen what makes you think you won’t be out next right after jan. i hate when people say “oh i’d hate to do it but that’s the decision that the tribes made i have to vote for them” no you DONT you literally don’t have to. i can feel how much jeff doesn’t like robb. 

oh so we’re all just gonna drop that word whenever huh? shii ann now on a shit list. if you don’t want anyone to know about your secret alliance then don’t fall into silence the moment someone walks up while you’re talking. i don’t understand the constant judgement of jan. she seems really sweet and she just wants to have a fucking funeral for a bat okay? piss off. she deserves a better season honestly. firstly robb needs to stop saying baby to shii ann and secondly he truly does not know how to spell her name considering he keeps putting s.h.bye BITCH! thank god robb didn’t make to to merge. i don’t know what i would have done if he did. i get the vibe that jeff is so done with this season.

why did it look like brian was going in for a kiss with penny. really hate brian’s cockiness. rest of her life? its just survivor ken. penny does give mean girl vibes. yeah shii ann leaving tracks for this tribe

[geee-three]

[Luke:]

The gods are real

Like the Greek gods

[Annabeth:]

Like the ones you learned about

But weren't paying attention to

[Luke & Annabeth:]

Well, they don't pay attention to you, either

[All:]

Especially if you're their kid

[Grover:]

The gods have godly things to do

[Grover & Silena:]

Godly places they need to see

[Clarisse:]

Godly plans they need to make

That don't include

Me

[All:]

Yeah, the Gods are real

And they have kids

And those kids have

Issues

Issues

[Boys:]

Daddy doesn't love me

And mommy is a god

[Girls:]

Mommy can't protect me

And daddy is a god

[All:]

Mommy is too busy

And daddy is too busy

Busy, busy, busy, busy being a god

Yeah

You never listen to me

You never listen

You never listen to me

You never listen, oh

You never listen but

Now, you're gonna listen

'Cause it's time you heard our side of the story

It's time you heard our story

[Percy:]

Look!

I didn't wanna be a half-blood

I didn't ask to be a hero seeking praise

Being a half-blood, it's scary

It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways

I didn't want to cause trouble, trouble

I'm less a player and more the played

And, honestly, I'd be totally be fine

If I could make it to the next grade, next grade

It wasn't dirty socks or my stepdad

It was danger that I smelled

The day it all went down

The day I got expelled

Maybe you don't know what a half-blood is because your life is normal and happy and not constantly in danger, but my life...?

Let me set the scene

We were on this freaky field trip

[Ensemble:]

Freaky trip

That's when this story should probably start

[All:]

We were geeking out on ancient Greek

At the New York Metropolitan Museum Of Art

[Percy:]

We stopped by all the statues

And learned about the gods

With Mr. Brunner and my substitute, Mrs. Dodds

Hadn't done nothing wrong

Wasn't rude

Hadn't rebelled

[All:]

On the day it all went down

[Percy:]

The day I got expelled

[Mr. Brunner:]

The Greek gods! Almighty titans of earth, sea, and sky! But even they were children once. And they didn't have it easy! Their father, Kronos, feared the day his children would one day inherit the earth. So what did he do?

Anyone? Anyone?

[Mrs. Dodds:]

He ate them!

[Mr Brunner:]

Ah... thank you Mrs. Dodds

But! one child, Zeus, escaped and devised a plan to rescue his brothers and sisters! He tricked Kronos into eating a rock. And what did Kronos do?

Anyone? Any student?

[Mrs Dodds:]

He vomited them up!

[Percy:]

I didn't really get the story

At least it wasn't boring as I'd feared

But is it me, or is Greek mythology

Not deeply weird?

I didn't want to pay attention

([Ensemble:] Pay attention! Pay attention!)

Now I wish I had taken notes

But my focus is in question

And gods and indigestion caused a groan from all our throats

[Ensemble:]

Ew!

[Grover:]

Baaaaaah!

[Percy:]

Dude, what was that?

[Grover:]

Uh, nothing!

[Percy:]

My best friend was acting strange

At which he so excelled

[All:]

The day it all went down

[Percy:]

The day I got expelled

Why do you have peanut butter in your hair?

[Grover:]

Ask Nancy Bobofit. She's a monster! Not literally. I don't think

[Percy:]

She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you?

[Grover:]

She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you, I stopped it. With my head

[Percy:]

Grover, you're a good friend

[Grover:]

Aw...

Dude. I'm your only friend

[Mrs Dodds:]

Percy Jackson!

[Percy:]

I knew something was up

When I heard my name get yelled

[All:]

The day it all went down

[Percy:]

I saw something odd in Mrs. Dodds' frown

[All:]

The day it all got weird

[Percy:]

The day I got expelled

[Mrs Dodds:]

Mr. Jackson

[Percy:]

Oh-oh-oh-oh!

[Mrs Dodds:]

Mr. Jackson

[Percy:]

Oh-oh-oh-oh!

[Mrs Dodds:]

Mr. Jackson!

Please see me by the sphinx

[Percy:]

Look... if this is about Nancy Bobofit, she only hates me because I tried to get her to stop wedgie-ing the first graders

[Mrs Dodds:]

I have heard much about you... Percy Jackson

[Percy:]

Really? That's very dedicated for a substitute...

[Mrs Dodds:]

Kicked out of five schools in six years. One might question your parentage

[Percy:]

Hey, don't talk about my mom

[Mrs Dodds:]

And your father? That's right... you don't know who he is!

[Percy:]

What's this about anyway?

Uh, Mrs. Dodds?

You have something growing on your

[Mrs Dodds' laughter become maniacal. Percy screams]

[Mr Brunner:]

What ho, Percy!

[Percy:]

Mr. Brunner! What am I supposed to do with a pen- Sword! Woah!

[Mrs Dodds screams]

[Percy:]

Mr. Brunner?

Mrs... Dodds?

Um...

I didn't know what just had happened

Was that all a creepy, crazy dream?

My teacher was a creature

Then she vanished in the ether

With a demon scream

The next thing that I knew

I was where detention was held

The day it all got real

The day I got

Expelled?

[Mr Brunner:]

I tried, Percy, but the headmaster stands firm in his decision. You were supposed to stay with the group. And this was your final warning

[Percy:]

But it wasn't my fault, it was Mrs. Dodds! She lured me away, she attacked me, and... you saw it!

[Mr Brunner:]

Did I?

[Percy:]

And you gave me that pen! Only it wasn't a pen, it was a sword, and...

What?

[Grover:]

Percy... we've never had a teacher named Mrs. Dodds

[Mr Brunner:]

Perhaps it's for the best. This wasn't the place for you. It was only a matter of time before

[Percy:]

I got kicked out?

[Mr Brunner:]

That's not what I was going to

[Percy:]

You think I'm trouble. Just like everyone else

[Mr Brunner:]

No, but... That is to say... I can only accept the best from you, Percy. Someday you'll understand why. I'm truly sorry

[Percy:]

Yeah well, I'm sorry I let you down

[Grover:]

Maybe he's right. You never fit in at this school anyway. You're not exactly...

[Percy:]

Normal?

[Grover:]

Exactly! [Laughs]

I mean, uh, I'll see you on the bus

[Percy:]

So if you think you are a halfblood

Better get headed to the exits now

'Cause folks will think you're lying

Better run and don't start crying

'Cause you're monster chow

Or stick around and maybe you'll learn from me

This ain't Odysseus' Odyssey

So hear me out

If you're so compelled

But, nobody listens to me

They never listen

Nobody listens to me

They never listen, oh

[Ensemble:]

Dude!

You got

Expelled

[Percy:]

I didn't wanna be a halfblood

([Ensemble:] Expelled!)

I didn't ask to be a halfblood

[All:]

Expelled!

_____________________

I can keep going I know all of it

Fallen into the pjo musical rabbit hole

[jaycetclis]

Everyone: *yelling and losing their shit*

Michael and Jack: